Poll: Over 30% Believe Frank Underwood is the POTUS

Underwood is the POTUS

In a surprising turnout, over 30% of people polled believe Frank Underwood is the POTUS. Underwood: “Why that’s patently absurd.”

Hollywood, California – A recent letter sent to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC requested the President of the United States attend a wedding of two minor nobles in the small European microstate of Liechtenstein, a constitutional monarchy lead by Prince Hans-Adam II.

Despite the gold-leaf invite, President Barack Obama will not be attending the wedding. But it’s not because he wants to snub the noble houses of Liechtenstein. Rather the invitation asked for an RSVP from President Frank Underwood.

And the people of Liechtenstein aren’t alone.

Frank Underwood may not be President of the United States, but that fact hasn’t stopped people from believing he guides the most powerful nation on Earth. In fact, spot polls made across the United States and Europe showed slightly over thirty percent of those polled pegged Underwood as the leader of the free world. Shockingly, Americans polled worst, with thirty three percent recognizing Frank Underwood as POTUS when shown pictures of him and Obama side by side.

Underwood is the POTUS

Poll: Which of these men is the President?

Underwood himself might say, “Why, that’s patently absurd.”

Kevin Spacey, the actor who plays Underwood on the Netflix original drama House of Cards, couldn’t agree more. In a recent interview with the New York Daily News, he reminded his viewers that he was only an actor. “Nobody has a clue we are actually paid to pretend we are other people. Have we become so celebrity-obsessed that there is no longer a difference between a character and an actor? I hope not.”

Still, with numbers as high as his, maybe he should consider getting into politics.

“Oh heavens no,” said Joanne Horowitz, the actor’s manager. “God, you think Underwood is bad. Kevin would do celebrity impressions during his State of the Union addresses.”

But even those who recognize Spacey’s Underwood as a fictional character believe the actor has some skin in the game. Robert Holland, a contractor from Underwood’s hometown of Gaffney, South Carolina, claims simply playing the part makes Spacey more qualified than most politicians. “He’s got the chops,” Holland said. “I can’t see any reason why he shouldn’t run, if it’s what he wants. Heck, even if he keeps up all that politicking and stuff like Underwood, I’d give him my vote. Long as he don’t kill nobody.”

After reconsidering, he amended the last part. “Long as he don’t kill nobody important to the story.”

What does Spacey think? Here’s what he gave up in a recent interview.

“I’ll tell you something I think only my friends know about me. I move furniture around. This is how bad it is: My friends’ll come around for dinner and then they’ll come back again a few weeks later to play with the dogs or bring their kids to hang out, and the furniture will probably have changed four or five times since then. They’ll go, ‘Hey, Kevin, wasn’t the couch over there before?'”

He took a sip of his lemonade. “Could you imagine me doing that to the Oval Office?”

And what about the invitation? Might Spacey go and play the role of President Frank Underwood for the people of the European principality?

“Is Liechtenstein even a real place?” he asked. “Honestly, I thought they made up that word for A Knight’s Tale.”

Simon Hawk
Chief Diversionist

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.


When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.


Simon Hawk

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.

When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.