Creflo Dollar Doubles Down on Gulfstream of God

Gulfstream of God

Creflo Dollar not only wants to buy a Gulfstream G650 on his followers’ dime, but to pimp it out as the Gulfstream of God.

Atlanta, Georgia – Megachurch pastor Creflo Dollar has asked his flock to be the vessel of God’s blessing.

God’s blessing for him, anyway.

The minister, known for his prosperity gospel platform, recently requested 200,000 followers commit $300 apiece in order for his ministry to buy a Gulfstream G650, a posh private jet costing in excess of $65 million. The G650, Gulfstream’s top model private business jet, is powered by a pair of Rolls-Royce engines and carries eight passengers and four crew in the pinnacle of comfort. The company’s website says, “The G650 is the biggest, fastest, most luxurious, longest range and most technologically advanced jet — by far.”

Proponents of the Prosperity Gospel teach that God’s plan for each person’s life is health and abundant wealth, provided the individual tithe to the right church.

After the initial request, the ministry became the target of backlash from traditional media sources and bloggers alike. #CrefloDollar trended on Twitter and Facebook as a veritable social media army savaged Dollar and his humble act of faith, calling his request “the Christian hustle” and “the profit of being a prophet.”

Gulfstream of God

The Gulfstream G650, King of the Airways

With such negative publicity, Creflo Dollar Ministries has yanked the request from their public websites, but insiders claim the group is still soliciting donations from their most ardent supporters. In fact, the support page for World Changers Church International, Dollar’s 30,000 member church in Atlanta, still lists “Project G650” as an option for donations.

But Dollar has decided top-of-the-line engines, leather seats, and a reclining divan aren’t enough for the Gulfstream of God.

“The minister of God needs an upgrade, can I get an amen?” Pastor Dollar exclaimed at an invitation-only event, inciting rounds of rambling amens from his congregation. “We can upgrade that blessing. The Lord has spoken to my heart to add gold filigree, purple heart wood trim, a diamond-encrusted jacuz– er baptismal, and a brass pole that serves no particular purpose. We need this plane to reach a lost and dying world for the Lord Jesus Christ.”

How much would the Jesus Jet run the Atlanta congregation and Dollar’s tens of thousands of followers worldwide?

“We’re gonna need to give it up,” shouted the minister, who owns two Rolls-Royce’s, multi-million dollar mansions in both Atlanta and New Jersey, and, if reports are correct, a life-size Pez-like dispenser in his own image used to distribute boxes of Testamints™ breath mint candies. “We’re going to need to double down!”

A statement released directly to supporters at the event stated Creflo Dollar Ministries would feel truly blessed to receive not only the initial $65 million, but an additional matching amount to improve God’s Gulfstream with a number of minor quality of life comforts such as silver dinnerware, a 72″ curved 3D television with a Playstation 4, an ebony billiards table, a live in-flight DJ complete with two turn tables and a microphone.

The statement described these items as “necessary tools of the ministry.”

A logical person would have to ask why the lavish private jet? For the base cost of the G650, Dollar could fly himself and eleven others, in the comfort of first class, anywhere in the world every day for just shy of seven and a half years. With complimentary back rubs and bottomless martinis.

Twelve people. First class. Every day. Seven and a half years.

All in the name of Jesus, a man whose sole travel expense was a pair of lace-up sandals.

Simon Hawk
Chief Diversionist

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.


When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.


Simon Hawk

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.

When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.