TWD Noah’s Death: Proof Zombies are Racist

Zombies are racist.

In Season 5, Episode 14, Noah dies a horrific, bloody death, proving once and for all that The Walking Dead’s zombies are racist.

Alexandria, Virginia – With everything one might expect from a zombie-infested dystopia – from cannibalism to roving bands of lawless men to, well, the undead – the future presented in AMC’s The Walking Dead is a bleak one indeed.

Especially if you happen to be a black man.

In the climax of Season 5, Episode 14, “Spend,” Noah is killed in the most vicious way possible as he is yanked from a revolving door and ripped to bloody shreds while Glen watches on.

With the death of Noah, some viewers are starting to see a trend.

“It’s like the zombies don’t like black guys,” one fan commented on Facebook.

That may well be the case. Looking back at the history of main group characters – characters who have been part of the central story group through at least one major event – it appears zombies have a taste for darker flesh. Since the show started, four black male main group characters have died at the hands of the undead: T-Dog, Bob, Tyrese, and Noah. (We’re not including Big Tiny, because he wasn’t a cast member during any major events.)

How many white male main group characters have died by walker bite? We asked an expert.

“One,” claimed Gregor Strabos as he leaned back in his chair, arms folded over his chest. Strabos, who recently emmigrated from Greece, is considered by many to be the top researcher in the field of zombology, the study of the undead. “Only Dale Horvath. It is curious, no?”

Of course, there have been many non-black characters slain by walkers over the course of the show’s five seasons, but within the show’s core group, only two white main group characters have been gnawed upon by zombies. Both of them were the group’s senior citizens – Dale Horvath and Herschel Greene – and one of them survived the experience with the loss of a leg, making him a more sympathetic character.

“Perhaps we are seeing a pattern of things, yes?” Strabos suggested. “Perhaps the zombies are racist.”

Actor Tyler James Williams, who played the role of the now-deceased Noah, laughed at the suggestion at first, but reconsidered after a few moments. “You know, I thought I heard one of them moaning a racial slur at me,” he said as he rubbed his chin in thought.

“It would totally explain why Lennie’s character Morgan Jones is avoiding becoming part of the group,” Williams continued. “And why he’s wearing that neoprene mask and glasses and stuff, no skin showin’. Damn. Wish the writers thought of that for Noah.”

Morgan Jones, who featured in earlier episodes of the show, reemerged during the first two installments of Season 5, where he is seen following Rick Grimes and company at a distance. Lennie James, who plays the role of Jones, recently took on a gig as the main character on the medical drama Critical rather than reprise his role on The Walking Dead.

“I ain’t about to become zombie chow,” he said.

Simon Hawk
Chief Diversionist

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.


When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.


Simon Hawk

Simon Hawk is a thinker, writer, satirist, and full-time oddball. As Chief Diversionist of Knozzle, his job is to write, baby, write with the intention of making his audience think and laugh. Or at least chuckle.

When not hunched over his computer, he spends his time on a balcony overlooking the Arkansas River (pronounced ar-KAN-zas, people!) playing Death Metal’s Greatest Hits on his diamond-studded kazoo. He sometimes pretends to know the meaning of life, but mostly just knows the meaning of obscure words like “sesquipedalian”.